So, for the first time in years I am living by myself (no roommate), and I am single. This has been going on for the past few weeks, and it is something that I have wanted for myself since I decided that I wanted to get a divorce years ago. If you didn’t know, I was married for five years, and obviously it did not work out. My ex husband is a good man, but he just wasn’t the right man for me, and I was not ready to be a wife at the time. I just kept telling myself and him that I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted time to myself to figure out who Juliette is with no one else’s influence or judgment. I feel like when you are actually out on your own, and handling business by yourself & for yourself, you get to know yourself even more.
Since I have lived by myself, I find that there are good days and bad days. Some days I am so happy that it is just me, and that I can just fully enjoy my own company. Other days I feel lonely, and like I need someone there. I go on social media and see happy couples and wonder why I don’t have that yet. Then I quickly remind myself that this is what I wanted, and when the right person comes along I will know.
Throughout this whole process, I am getting to know myself better. I do love who I am, and the woman I am becoming. I am at peace knowing my strengths and my weaknesses. I know I have flaws, and I don’t try to hide them. At this point in my life, it’s either you love me how I am, or having nothing at all. I don’t feel the need to conform to anyone’s beliefs. I walk to the beat of my drum set.
This feeling is a very liberating feeling, especially as a woman. Women are taught from a young age that they must be wifely, or motherly. I am not either at the moment, and I am find with that. I see so many women rushing to be a wife or a mom, and they haven’t enjoyed their own life yet. Once you become a wife and a mother the focus is not on you anymore. I believe that you need that time to just figure out who you really are, so that you may know what you really want. During my first marriage, I was just learning who I was. I was only 19 when I got married, so that was super young to be making that type of commitment in the first place. I was smart enough not to bring a child into that situation.
I said all of that to say this, I am finding inner peace within myself. I enjoy my own company. I love being the master of my life. I want to be a complete person before I decide to fully commit to someone else, and I hope that he would have the same mindset too. I urge all of you to get to know yourself more. It is a beYOUtiful feeling.